Gazza's Norhern Sector Pub Crawl 21/01/06.

A merry band of PFR’s took part on a dis-orienteering event on Saturday 21^st Jan, billed as ‘Gazza’s Northern Sector Pub Crawl, an eight hour score event taking in the Real Ale pubs in the Northern Sector of Sheffield. The Challenge involved using as many different modes of public transport as possible and sampling a large variety of Real Ales. The drinks stations offered a much wider choice than water or Isotar, and power bars/gels were replaced with pickled eggs and Tabasco. The big city challenge brought new experiences and a whole new vocabulary to a set of runners more at home on the fells. Some of the new terms perhaps deserve their own glossary before we press on:

‘Normals’ – People not familiar with Public transport.

‘A South Yorks Day Tripper’ – Not a day in the life of a South Yorks drug addict, but a ticket costing £3.95 allowing unlimited public transport of any mode in South Yorks for a day.  

‘A pickled E and Tab’ – Not a drug cocktail but a Pickled egg with Tabasco, a savoury beverage to be taken with real ale and worth a point on your scorecard.

‘Switcha’ – Pronounced Switch – CHA. A ticket to travel for one hour on any mode of transport in S Yorks.  Useful if you’ve not done a tripper, are a normal, and want to get home rather than doing an over nighter on a pavement.

‘KPA’ – Not an abbreviation for K-line, Paralytic, Ab-normal, but a real ale where the K stands for Kinder, the rest is a blur.

‘A 10 percenter’ – not the fee for an athletics agent, but a real ale with 10% alcoholic content. Enough to take y’wig off despite super glue.

‘A type 37’ – A particular diesel locomotive. See Gazza or Dave for a more detailed definition.

‘A 57’ – Not one of the Heinz 57 varieties, but a bus number back to Stocksbridge.

‘A 69-er’ – A 96 bus after 10 pints of Wobbly Bob and not what you’re thinking. 'Its High Green mate via Hillsborough.... Please' (Artic Monkeys)

The start at 14:30 was at Sheffield station where club member’s friends and other halves converged on trains, cars, buses, and in the case of Mr P via a diversion for motorbike and sidecar.  Cazza had prepared score cards which explained how points would be gained for different brews, selected sick inducing foods and modes of public transport used.  Yellow perils would def incur penalty points (but not the standard 3) and would def prove a handicap for scoring beverage points.

The route took in Sheffield’s finest in terms of real ale, starting with the Cask & Cutler at Netherthorpe.  Mr P rated it the best checkpoint, not the usual couple huddled round a green tent and pocket rocket but a palatial palace where real ale drinkers pay homage to their brews. Here a few competitors encountered their first 10% - er, a thick black brew more akin to black treacle than yer normal pint er’Tetleys.

From here a northerly bearing was taken to Neepsend lane and the Gardner’s rest, where a sign warned patrons that swearing would not be tolerated, Big Dave resorted to pointing for his brew. It was here that most sampled the ‘Wobbly Bob’ on offer, although Bob stuck to his lager and decided not to get wobbly, well not yet, the day was still young and Bob as usual was pacing it well. It was here that Mr P and Karen B started their break away and started to pile on the points with pickled eggs with a dribble of Tabasco, the motor racing equivalent to swapping petrol for Nitro.

The Gardner’s Rest like all the pubs visited was a beer drinkers Mecca, hidden away amongst Sheffield’s dwindling industry and seedy sauna parlours.  After taking on a Wobble or three we took a  NW bearing and headed for the Hillsborough Hotel, following the river as a navigation aid, a slight climb up to the Hillsborough Hotel check point and the cards were quickly stamped with a sample of the KPA (see glossary above).  It was here that most competitors took on fuel. Big Dave seemed to get upset at the prospect of sandwiches as opposed to Baguettes, something I think, to do with the relation of baguette v sani and the shape of his oesophagus :-) ???

From here it was back down the hill and onward to the ‘New Barrack Tavern’ on Penistone Road, getting compass bearings was  difficult as the horizontal compass position was proving difficult to maintain. The Tavern proved to be the retirement point for a number of competitors. The Sues’ and the ICe man were entered for the Kinder Trail, Mr P had already gone beyond his pass out. Dave F was running York, Bob and Jane had another event to attend. So the last 7 standing caught the tram back to town for the Fat Cat and Kelham Island. Once Mr P had retired the lead was left to Karen B whose enthusiasm from the start was to make her a clear winner on the day.  She even started taking on the train buffs at the Fat cat making them envious with her trips on the old Woodhead line from Deepcar on type 37’s. More beers were sampled and future excursions were planned. Karen’s lead became unassailable as we skipped on a tram paid for a swit-cha and mixed it with the locals. The Penistone contingent headed for the Train Station, after filling their camel bladders for the last time, then making full use of their Day Trippers.

We're still standing: Kel, Cazza, Gazza, Big dave, Stewi, Karen & Ian

P.S. If anyone finds Mr P’s wallet on a train back to Penistone complete with Cash, cards, Driving licence, Mnt rescue Id and Co-Op divi card please return it. The reward will be an all expenses paid repeat trip to Huddersfield, hick!

Apart from the above disappointment I think everybody enjoyed themselves, without too many sore heads in the morning.

Thanks to Gazza and Cazza for organising the day.